Deciding whether to end a marriage or civil partnership
Coronavirus - relationship issues
If you're experiencing relationship problems, this page can help you consider your options. You can also get advice and counselling from Relationships Scotland.
You can also get advice from a lawyer if you're thinking about splitting up. Some lawyers are advising by phone, email or video call. Check our advice about using a solicitor.
You benefits might be affected if you split up with your partner. Check if a change affects your Universal Credit.
Follow the Scottish government's coronavirus guidance if you're thinking about moving out of a home you're sharing with your ex-partner.
If you partner or ex-partner makes you feel anxious or threatened, you should call Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage helpline on 0800 027 1234. If you feel unsafe, call 999 immediately. Find out more about help for domestic abuse.
What to consider
There are financial and personal issues you should think through carefully before you make a decision about whether you want to end a marriage or civil partnership and which option you choose.
Think and make plans about issues like:
- your personal safety and well being
- whether you want the option of getting back together later
- where you'll live - who has the right to stay in a house you rent or own?
- how you'll support yourself financially as a single person
- any shared debts you have, like mortgages or cars
- how splitting up will affect your benefits
- who will look after any children and how contact will be arranged
- financial support (maintenance) you will have to pay for children
- financial support you may have to pay your partner until you're divorced or the partnership is dissolved
- any ongoing communication you might need to have with your partner
- how you'll pay for a divorce or the option you choose
- how splitting up would affect your immigration status.
You should get help from specialist organisations that can help you talk through some of these issues. You might be able to agree things without going to court, or before you go to court, which might be cheaper and less stressful.
If you feel unsafe or think you are in an abusive relationship, you should get specialist support about domestic abuse.
If you're not a British Citizen
If you're not a British Citizen and your marriage ends, this could affect your right to stay in the UK.
You should get advice from an experienced immigration adviser. Your local Citizens Advice Bureau should be able to help - where to get advice.
Your options
You and/or your partner could decide to:
- try to repair the relationship
- separate informally, without going to court
- separate by drawing up a separation agreement
- get a divorce to legally end your marriage
- dissolve your civil partnership.
Some people may also be able to get a decree of nullity or annulment, if the marriage wasn't legal under Scottish law - for example, one of you was under 16.
Sources of support and advice
This isn't a full list of sources of support. There might be local organisations and support groups available to you.
Get legal advice
It's important to get legal advice about your options and how your financial situation will be affected. They can help you reach agreements out of court if that's what you prefer. You should look for lawyers who specialise in family law - you can search for solicitors on the Law Society of Scotland website.
Make sure you are aware of the costs and what to expect of using a solicitor before you contact one.
Mediation and counselling
If you feel unsafe or think you are in an abusive relationship, you should get specialist support about domestic abuse.
Relationships Scotland
Relationships Scotland provides relationships counselling and family mediation services across Scotland. Relationships Scotland provides a free service called Parenting Apart, which allows parents to participate in sessions about the impact of separation on children.
Relationships Scotland
18 York Place
Edinburgh
EH1 3EP
InfoLine: 0345 119 2020 (Monday to Friday from 9.30am to 4.30pm)
Fax: 0345 119 6089
Email: enquiries@relationships-scotland.org.uk
Website: www.relationships-scotland.org.uk
The Spark
The Spark provides relationship counselling services face to face, by telephone or online.
The Spark
General enquiries: 0808 802 0050
Relationship Helpline: 0808 802 2088 (Tues and Wed 11am to 2pm)
Book a counselling session: 0808 802 0050
Email: Contact form available on the website
Website: www.thespark.org.uk
Benefits and debt
Citizens Advice Bureau
You local Citizens Advice Bureau will be able to tell you how your benefits would be affected if you split up from your partner.
Housing
Get advice before you move out, even if your name isn't on the tenancy agreement.
Shelter Scotland or Citizens Advice Bureau
There is advice about deciding what to do about the family home on the Shelter Scotland website.
Your local Citizens Advice Bureau will also be able to advise you about how your housing rights could be affected.
Children
Make a parenting plan
The Scottish Government has produced a guide to making a Parenting Plan to help you agree arrangements for children.
Relationships Scotland
Relationships Scotland provides a free service called Parenting Apart, which allows parents to participate in sessions about the impact of separation on children.
Relationships Scotland
18 York Place
Edinburgh
EH1 3EP
InfoLine: 0345 119 2020 (Monday to Friday from 9.30am to 4.30pm)
Fax: 0345 119 6089
Email: enquiries@relationships-scotland.org.uk
Website: www.relationships-scotland.org.uk
When you've decided what to do
If you decide to:
- try to repair the relationship - see sources of mediation and counselling
- separate formally or informally - see separating in a marriage or civil partnership
- get a divorce to legally end your marriage - see getting divorced
- dissolve your civil partnership - see ending a civil partnership.
If you think you need an annulment because the marriage isn't legal, you'll need to get a lawyer.