Help for domestic abuse

Are you experiencing abuse

Domestic abuse is a crime in Scotland. If you're being harmed by your partner or ex-partner you may be experiencing domestic abuse. This isn't your fault and there are organisations that can help you. 

It can be hard to see the signs that domestic abuse is happening or come to terms with it. You might not feel like you're a 'typical' victim of abuse but there isn't one. It can affect people of any age, including teenagers and students. 80% of victims are female but men can also be victims. 

Your abuser doesn't have to be violent towards you for it to be abuse. They might be using tactics to undermine you, remove your freedom and trap you into living under their control - this is called coercive control. The abuse could be directed towards you, your children or even your pets as a way to intimidate and control you. 

You should seek specialist support if you or your children are experiencing any behaviour from a partner or ex-partner that is:

• mentally and emotionally abusive - verbal abuse, undermining your confidence, gaslighting (making you question your version of what's happened)
• violent, including sexual violence
• isolating - from friends, relatives, health services and sources of support
• monitoring or controlling - for example, tracking you, watching your social media accounts, making you stay in the house during the day or limiting time at the shops
• degrading or punishing - for example, not allowing you to eat or rewarding you for only 'good' behaviour
• financially controlling - for example, not allowing you to have your own bank account or having benefits paid only to the abuser
• intimidating - for example, threats of violence
• harmful towards pets or your belongings - this might be to manipulate, frighten or control you.

As well as domestic abuse you might be experiencing other types of gender-based violence, like stalking, rape or sharing intimate photos or videos without consent. There are other specialist organisations that can help you.

How to find out if your partner has an abusive past

You can find out if your partner or ex-partner has abused other people in the past by applying to Police Scotland’s Disclosure Scheme, also called Clare’s Law.

The police can tell you whether your partner has a history of being abusive and you’ll get help and support to decide whether to continue the relationship.

You can apply for yourself or someone you know.

To apply to the scheme, and find out more about it:

• apply on the Police Scotland website 
• contact your local police station – find your local station on the Police Scotland website 
• phone 101.

If you want to leave an abusive relationship

Before you leave it's important to make a safety plan with the help of advisers at Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline. They're trained to help people leave abusive relationships safely. 

Your safety plan should be tailored to you and might cover things like: 

• when you'll leave 
• where you'll go
• childcare or taking the children with you
• packing essential items 
• care for pets - Dogs Trust Freedom Project may be able to look after animals. Find out more about the project on their website.  

Get help to make your safety plan from the Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline. 

If you need money

If you urgently need money you could apply for:

• a crisis grant or a community care grant from the Scottish Welfare Fund – these are grants from local councils that don’t have to be paid back. Find out more about the Scottish Welfare Fund
• emergency help from your council's social work department – you might be able to get a cash payment called a section 12 payment. If you have children, you might be able to get a section 22 payment. Find contact details for your local council
• a budgeting loan or a budgeting advance – these are loans from the DWP that have to be repaid from your benefits. For budgeting advances, you need to be getting Universal Credit. Read more about budgeting advances and how to get one. For budgeting loans, you need to be getting other benefits such as Income Support, Pension Credit, income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance or income-related Employment and Support Allowance. Check how to get a budgeting loan and how to apply.

You might also need to sort out non urgent money issues. You should check if you are entitled to any benefits and whether to apply for any maintenance for yourself or your children.

You could use a benefit calculator or contact your local Citizens Advice Bureau to ask for a benefit check and to find out about other financial help you could get.

Fund to Leave

Fund to Leave is a pilot project to help women pay for the essentials they need when leaving a relationship with an abusive partner.

The fund is open to applications from women who live in:

• Edinburgh
• Fife
• Glasgow
• North Lanarkshire
• South Lanarkshire

The fund will close on 31 March 2024.

Find out more about Fund to Leave on the Scottish Women’s Aid website.

Getting help from Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline

The helpline is for anyone affected by abuse, including friends or family members supporting someone affected by abuse. 

Both men and women can phone or email 24 hours a day. It's confidential and can be anonymous if you want. The helpline is run by Women's Aid in partnership with the Men’s Advice Line. If you're a man you'll be put through to the Men’s Advice Line.

There's a translation service if English isn't your preferred language. You can use this helpline whatever your immigration status is. 

If you think your calls or emails are being monitored by your partner or ex-partner, it might be best to call from a public phone, the phone of a friend you trust or from your local Citizens Advice Bureau with the help of an adviser.

Specially-trained staff will answer the phone. Find out more about what to expect when you call on the helpline's website. 

If you don't feel able to contact the helpline you could also speak first to an adviser at your local Citizens Advice Bureau and they could phone on your behalf. This might be easier if you are already going there to speak about something else, like your benefits or housing. Read more about how an adviser can help. 

If you're from outside the UK

You might be able to apply to stay in the UK or get back to the UK if your relationship has ended because of domestic abuse.

If you're the family member of an EU, EEA or Swiss citizen

If you got pre-settled status from the EU Settlement Scheme as a family member, you can keep it if your relationship with your family member ended because of domestic abuse.

When you've been in the UK for 5 years, you can upgrade your pre-settled status to settled status. This means you can stay in the UK permanently.

If you haven't got pre-settled status yet, you can still apply if:

• you're a family member of an EU, EEA or Swiss citizen who was living in the UK by 31 December 2020
• your relationship with your family member ended because of domestic abuse.

The deadline for applying to the EU Settlement Scheme was 30 June 2021, but the government says domestic abuse is a good reason to make a late application for pre-settled status.

If you have a partner visa

You and your children can apply to stay in the UK or return to the UK permanently if your relationship with your partner has ended because of domestic abuse.

You can apply for 'indefinite leave to remain' if you're in the UK on a partner visa. You can also apply for indefinite leave to remain from outside the UK if your last UK visa was a partner visa. You can't apply if you're on a fiancé(e) or proposed civil partner visa.

Your partner must have been:

• a British or Irish citizen
• someone settled - this means they have indefinite leave to remain or settled status from the EU Settlement Scheme
• an EU, EEA or Swiss citizen with pre-settled status
• someone who's been in the British Armed Forces for at least 4 years
• a refugee or someone with humanitarian protection.

If you've separated from your partner because of domestic abuse, you can apply for indefinite leave to remain on GOV.UK.

If your partner is British, Irish, settled or a member of the armed forces, you might be able to get your current visa extended for 3 months. It will also let you access benefits while you're applying for indefinite leave to remain. You can download the form to apply for a 3-month extension on GOV.UK.

If you can't apply for indefinite leave or to the EU Settlement Scheme

If you have a child under 18 who lives in the UK and has permission to stay, check if you can apply for a family visa on GOV.UK.

If you can't go back to your home country because you fear persecution and want to stay in the UK as a refugee, check if you can claim asylum on GOV.UK.

If you have nowhere to stay and no money, you might be eligible for the Support for Migrant Victims scheme. You might get financial support and help with accommodation from the scheme.

An adviser will need to refer you to the scheme. Find out how to talk to an adviser.

If you recently arrived in the UK

You can find information about your rights if you've experienced domestic abuse on the Housing Rights Information website.

How a Citizens Advice Bureau adviser can help

In some cases you might not feel able to contact a specialist domestic abuse service or it may be easier to talk to an adviser at your local Citizens Advice Bureau first. This might be the case if you're already going to speak about your benefits or housing, for example. 

Citizens Advice Bureau advisers aren't specialists in domestic abuse but they can listen confidentially to you and:

• help you contact specialist support
• establish what you've already done and if you're in danger
• make sure you have a plan before you leave the bureau
• explain the longer term options you might have. 

An adviser can help you with housing, debt and benefits issues to help you live independently from your abuser. They will recommend seeing a lawyer about more complex housing, immigration and legal issues. 

Find your local Citizens Advice Bureau. 

Support for other forms of gender-based violence

Domestic abuse is often linked with other forms of gender-based violence and abuse. Read our advice if you've experienced:

• intimate photos or videos being shared - read our advice on what to do if your intimate photos or videos are shared without your consent

• rape or sexual assault - read more about the help that's available if you've been raped or sexually assaulted

• female genital mutilation - read more about what to do if you've experienced female genital mutilation

• forced marriage or civil partnership - you can phone Scotland's Domestic Abuse and Forced Marriage Helpline on 0800 027 1234 or read more about forced marriage and forced civil partnership
• stalking or harassment - call the National Stalking Helpline for advice.